126 | Motherhood changed my business brain chemistry
The 3 ways having a baby rewired how I run my business (a reflective, 1-year-in chat)
My baby turned 1 this week, which feels genuinely wild, so in this episode I'm sharing the 3 big ways becoming a mum has completely changed my business brain chemistry: how ruthlessly I simplify now, why I've finally let go of over-optimising everything, and how it's shifted the way I think about aspirational vs relatable content…
How Motherhood Changed the Way I Run My Business
I can't quite believe I'm saying this, but my baby turned 1 this week 🥹
12 of being a self-employed new mum (running on a genuinely alarmingly low amount of sleep) has taught me more than I expected, so this is a reflective one.
I'm sharing the 3 biggest ways having a baby has changed how I run my business and how I think: why less time has made me ruthlessly simplify (fewer tools, fewer subscriptions, less faffing), how I realised I'm a chronic over-optimiser and why letting go of that has made me calmer, and the way it's completely changed how I feel about aspirational vs relatable content, both the stuff I consume and the stuff I create 🤍
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1. Less time made me ruthlessly simplify
The most obvious one: I have far less time. Even with him being in nursery, it feels completely different, because I can't just work past four or five, or pick up my laptop for "a few bits" at the weekend. I have to be present with my family, which is what I want (and probably what I should have been doing before).
I think I hadn't realised how much extra work I was pouring into my business ‘out of hours’ pre-baby. Evenings on the laptop, weekends when I had a spare hour. I love my work, so I didn't really clock it.
Less time forces you to refocus on what actually matters and simplify even harder. So I:
Stripped back the tools and software I pay for, and consolidated everything into far fewer subscriptions
Started choosing tools that do several jobs rather than paying for separate ones
Swapped paid tools for free ones where I could (eg. I now use Affinity, a free design tool, instead of Photoshop and Illustrator)
Ditched the overcomplicated onboarding and automation software and kept it simple
Stopped doing things I don't really need to, like constantly creating new courses, or spending hours on short-form content when long-form gets me far more mileage
2. I realised I'm an over-optimiser (and it wasn't serving me)
I am a self confessed Type A eldest daughter, Virgo (although I don't personally believe in astrology, I'm reliably informed I'm the most Virgo Virgo there is!). I'm the girl with a Trello board and a spreadsheet for absolutely everything.
I've always been in pursuit of the most optimised, efficient life, every ounce of time perfectly spent so I can juice the most out of it.
But I saw a comment on a post by a creator I really admire (very organised, very "productivity girl", also about to have a baby) where someone had written something like, "it must be exhausting trying to optimise everything in your life, good luck optimising everything in the baby's."
And I kind of nodded and though “yep, it IS exhausting!”.
If the pursuit of optimising everything is causing you stress, and making you constantly feel not good enough, then that isn't optimal? So it cancels itself out. Trying to optimise all the time means you're trying too hard, which isn't optimal anyway!
And then parenthood humbled me, as it does. You cannot optimise a baby's sleep, or your morning routine, or every second of your day. You physically have to go with the flow.
So for 12 months I've been a deeply un-optimised girly, and you know what? It's freeing, and I'm happier.
I genuinely thought being maximally efficient and productive would make me calm. Turns out I feel calmer having let go a bit.
3. I stopped wanting the highlight reel (relatable over aspirational)
Endless scrolling is a big part of newborn life, when you're breastfeeding and your brain cannot do anything more taxing than rotting on the sofa while the baby naps, and I quickly realised social media was making me feel genuinely awful.
My algorithm went all-in on baby content and it was all triggering me, because I was feeling like I was in survival mode, rather than thriving.
Being in that mindset made me think hard about content in general, and the fine line between content that's genuinely aspirational and enjoyable, and content that tips into making people feel bad about their own lives, feeding insecurities and that keeping-up-with-the-Joneses spiral.
It's tricky, because social media is a highlight reel by nature. We all do it, I literally have a whole lifestyle and travel account built on sharing the highlights! But having a baby made me realise I don't want to only follow highlight-only accounts, because they shape how I think my life "should" look.
I want to follow real people sharing the ups and the downs, the relatable stuff that reassures me I'm normal and we're all in it together. And that goes for business content too, I don't want a feed of people only ever posting their wins and their perfect businesses, because that's not the reality for me or, honestly, most people.
I've definitely shared aspirational content myself, especially on my business page, about having a lifestyle business, travelling lots, taking afternoons off at the beach. And yes, some people find that inspiring and follow along because it's their goal too, which is lovely.
But so much of that content misses the context and transparency about what it actually takes to get there, and what the rest of life really looks like.
I don't want to create the illusion that everything's perfect and you can just do this and your life will look amazing, because that isn't the reality for anyone, and it feeds that "why doesn't my life look like that?" feeling. Now I know how that feels from the other side, I don't want to be part of it.
So now, before I post anything, on either brand, I check in: is this relatable? Is it something people can actually enjoy or see themselves in, or is it just going to make someone feel a bit rubbish about where they are right now?
I haven't cracked the perfect balance (I don't think there is one). But I'm a lot more aware of it, and that awareness changes what I make.
If this is your kind of honest, real-life-and-business chat, come and join me on The Re:Fresh newsletter, it's where I share the unpolished behind-the-scenes every week 🤍
