Freelancing as an Introvert: Tips for Running a Business on Your Terms
running your own business is totally different for everyone, especially different personality types such as introverts or extraverts.
I’ve written before about how your personality can affect how you run your business, but today I wanted to write specifically about some of the struggles that us introverts have when you’re self employed and managing day to day life in your business.
What is an introvert?
A common misconception is that being an introvert means you’re shy, socially anxious and quieter than extraverts, but this isn’t the case at all. Sure these characteristics are common traits amongst introverted types, but the actual distinction between and extravert and introvert is this:
An extravert is energised by being in stimulating environments (eg. being around people, having music or TV in the background of what they’re doing etc.), while an introvert is energised by less stimulating environments (eg. they need alone time to ‘recharge’, and need quiet to do work).
Notice I didn’t say that they like each different environment more than the other - you can have extraverts that enjoy being alone, and introverts that enjoy being around lots of people and in crowds. At its core, this personality type is define by what makes you lose energy vs. what recharges you.
Being introverted or extraverted will look different for everyone, but there are a few things that us introverts usually have in common. Networking is usually very mentally exhausting, and we usually find it draining doing client meetings or pitching, or working alongside other people or in groups.
The difference between introversion and anxiety disorder
It’s really important to be clear on the difference between what traits are typical of an introverted personality type, vs what are actually manifestations of social anxiety. The below things I’m talking about will make introverts feel uncomfortable and drained, but if you experience feelings of intense panic & distress, feeling sick, or if avoiding these situations is having a serious effect on your life, this is more likely to be a sign of social anxiety, and I’d recommend speaking to a doctor.
Speaking as someone who is an introvert and has also had social anxiety, I tend to write from a place of trying to help both issues, so hopefully some of this advice may be useful if you are struggling with anxiety too.
Networking
I’m sure there are also extraverts out there who dislike networking, so can we all just agree how horrid that word is? It sounds so formal and pressurised; like, “I must find someone in this room who will be a beneficial addition to my network! 🤓” - ew, no.
However, ‘networking’ really is one of the most important things you can do. Building relationships with people in your industry is beneficial for learning, feeling supported, making friends who understand what you do, and of course, getting customers! Below are my tips for making it a much less horrible experience:
Choose your ‘networking’ events carefully
Not all networking events are created equal, and when you find the right ones it can totally change your experience. Look for casual meet-ups and events that involved actual activities - whether that’s an outdoors walk, tasty lunch, or something more quirky like wall-climbing or watersports! One of the best ‘networking’ events I’ve been on was a stand-up paddleboard meetup; it’s a great way to give you all something to talk about.
Go with a friend (but don’t stay attached at the hip!)
If you’re feeling nervous, bring a friend or business buddy with you to the event, but make sure you agree beforehand not to stay joined at the hip and go and talk to other people. I’ve done it before where you go to an event together, chicken out when you get there, and just spend the whole time talking to each other… not really the point!
Think of fun ice breakers
It sounds cringey but it doesn’t have to be. If you’re at an event with activities, asking people whether they’ve done this before and talking about that is an obvious one, but try and think of something else a little bit out-there and memorable. Asking people how far they’ve travelled to get there, or give someone a compliment.
Research attendees beforehand and go with a goal
If it’s a more formal event and you’re feeling nervous, the best thing to do is find out who is going and make a list of the people you’re interested in talking to, and go with a goal in mind. This means you won’t be left floundering around, and you will actually have done some research on who’s going, so you can strike up a good conversation.
Have a good excuse to leave…
Always have a good alibi for leaving if you get too stressed or feel too drained; perhaps you have another meeting booked somewhere so you need to leave early, or parents staying with you… whatever it is, there’s no shame in having a get-out clause!
Network online!
It sounds obvious, but there’s so much networking you can do online; whether it’s Facebook Groups in your niche, LinkedIn, Instagram DMs, or online forums, there’s a community for everyone. And if you can find one? Make one!
Marketing & ‘showing up’ online
You don’t have to do videos & webinars
Sometimes when you get deep into reading and listening to lots of sales & marketing advice online, it can be totally overwhelming - especially with talk about live video, webinars and YouTube. But you don’t HAVE to do any of those things to be successful; there are so many other ways you can market your business that don’t involved these things.
Further reading: What To Do When Webinars & Live Videos Aren’t Your ThingShowing your face is important, but takes practice
I am a huge advocate for showing up online as yourself, for example on Instagram Stories, but I know it can be nerve-wracking when you’re not used to it. Trust me, I never thought I’d be able to do lots of ‘talking to the camera stuff’, but now I do it every day on Stories and it’s making a huge difference in my business! Practice makes perfect, and even now I still do several takes of my videos before I post, so don’t think it has to be perfect first time.
Be yourself & be vulnerable
Specifically when you are a solo business owner and YOU are your brand (for example if your business is named after you!), getting personal with your audience and allowing them to get to know the real you builds trust and like-ability. If you feel nervous about networking or showing up online, tell people! Chances are 90% of your audience can probably really relate to that and it makes them feel more connected to you.
Align your target customer to you
This is a biggie and one that so many people don’t think about. If you are a freelancer who wants to build a business that truly works for you, and gives you a good work life balance, pay attention to who you are choosing as your target customer.
Are your target customers very demanding or high-end clients who expect you at their beck and call, making you feel stressed and overwhelmed? Well, I hate to break it to you, but you only have yourself to blame.
You have chosen to serve these types of people with your offering and you have been targeting them with your marketing, so what do you expect? If your customers are giving you stress and putting a strain on your sanity, it might be time to pivot.
I have deliberately built my offerings and my marketing to attract the type of clients I want to work with; generally they are very relaxed, positive people who are usually introverts too! Because I’ve made my marketing so clear I barely ever have to turn clients away, because I naturally attract the right people now anyway.
Learning
Choose smaller workshops
Improving your knowledge and skills is paramount as a freelancer, by reading books and articles, but also through professional training. When looking for courses, workshops or programmes in your area, try and choose ones with small groups as this is much less daunting and you might end up making some really great friends too.
Re-do the material at home
I don’t know about you but I hate working in groups. Or even in public with other people around me; I’m easily distracted and I can’t concentrate, and I like taking my own time and space to mull over ideas. This can be a problem when you’re on a course and need to do the work there and then, but try and take as many notes as possible and always ask the teacher if you can take the resources home so you can work at your own pace.
Take an online course
A great solution to this is to take an online course where you can go through the material at your own pace and from the comfort and quiet of your own home or office. I’m a huge fan of online courses, and have even created my own all about how to use Instagram Stories for your business - go check it out!
Client calls or meetings
Meet somewhere you feel comfortable
Where possible, arrange to meet somewhere you’ve been before. There’s nothing worse than being nervous for a meeting, and having to deal with the stress of finding somewhere to park or not knowing how to find a place.
Be crystal clear on the goals of the meeting
Laying out the outcomes and topics of your meeting beforehand with both parties not only means your meeting will be super efficient and you’ll get everything you need out of it, it usually means they’ll be over quicker because you won’t be umming and ahhing about what else you need to cover.
Prepare conversation points & anticipate questions
Whether meeting in person or on the phone, I always write a bullet point list of questions or things I need to bring up with the client, as it helps keep me on track and there’s less room for awkwardness. Also, try to anticipate any questions they might have in advance so that you’re not put on the spot.
Take video out of the picture
A lot of people with social anxiety struggle talking over the phone (and many introverts don’t like it either!), and the only way I’ve found to push through that personally is through practice and following the advice above. I’ve also found that I get more anxious if there’s video involved (just a whole other level of awkwardness!), so I no longer do Skype calls that include video. The only reason I need to use Skype is if a client is from outside the UK (otherwise I use my phone), and if that’s the case, it usually gives you a better connection if you skip video altogether anyway. No one needs to see my face (and if they do, there’s a professional headshot there in place of it as my profile picture!), and it stresses me out, so I just don’t do it!
Reward yourself (also known as bribing 🤩)
Motivating myself to push through uncomfortable situations using includes bribing myself with some kind of treat… “Once you’ve got through this phone call, you can have a half hour break of destressing by watching YouTube videos” or “After this meeting, I’m going to get myself a takeaway hot chocolate on the way home” etc. Works a charm!
Pitching
You don’t have to talk money on the phone or in person
As a Brit, talking about money is bound to feel awkward and uncomfortable, and feedback from lots of introverts I know is that introverts tend to avoid it more. However obviously when you run your own business, you literally can’t avoid asking for money from customers! For some, talking about prices over the phone is unavoidable, but depending on your industry, have you considered sending digital quotes & proposals instead?
I never tell someone a quote over the phone anymore; I simply tell the client that straight after the call I will be sending them a proposal with a quote inside it, and then we can take it from there. Then I can get off the phone, take time to crunch the numbers, and deliver the price via email without any awkwardness.Information gather - don’t pitch - in a meeting
Following on from the above, in my client meetings/phone calls, I rarely ‘pitch’ myself because A) my marketing and content on my website is super clear, so most people have already decided they’ll be working with me before we talk on the phone, and B) I use the meeting to gather information, and then use my proposal that I send over afterwards as an opportunity to ‘pitch’. It includes details about my work, testimonials and more to help ‘sell’ me if they need further encouragement. This is a great way to avoid pitching in person if it feels to awkward and salesy.
Feel comfortable & confident in your offer & pricing
If pushed, I will give people a ball-park figure on the phone, and I don’t mind doing that nowadays, because I’m so happy and confident in my pricing and the value I offer with my services, and I’m able to clearly justify why I charge what I charge.
Further reading: Pricing Your Freelance Services (and feeling confident about your prices)
